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A truly moving story – You never know what goes on in people’s lives….

A truly moving story – You never know what goes on in people’s lives….

I have never been big on blogging but then an email landed in my inbox that I had to share with everyone, so here goes my first blog post!

I had been having ‘one of those days’, when I just sat and cried. My son was having his afternoon nap and I should have been doing some work, but I just couldn’t. I was thinking about my life and realised how lonely I felt sometimes. I’ve got so much work to do and not enough time to do everything. I’ve just had enough of the situation I am in (will share this with you in another post) – the only person that can change my life is me and no-one else.

After about an hour of crying and feeling sorry for myself I plucked up the courage to open up my emails for the day. About 20 new ones came in, this was on top of the 20 emails from the day before which, I hadn’t even looked at yet. I decided to start with the ones for VIPregnancy.com and I’m so glad I did…..This is an email from Ros:

 

“Hiya Veena V
Sorry for late reply but I had to go out.
I am a single mum to Nathaniel age 8, he is diagnosed autistic and attends a special needs school.

I never planned to have children and my partner and I had lived together for about 6 years sharing my mothers house. In Jan 2002 I was being treated for thyroid problems and a scan confirmed my
weight gain to have a heartbeat. A child was due, and it looked to be due pretty urgently as in mid march!
April 17th and my lil fella was born to a mum, a dad and a grandma.

Fast forward to 2005, we had moved house to a beautiful farm in Lincolnshire with more room for Nathaniel. In march of that year my mother was taken ill and confirmed to have advanced cancer. It was at this point things broke down with my partner. Up until then I bred the dogs, showed, ran the business making and selling dog beds, cared for mum, cared for the baby. He
played World of Warcraft game on his PC 3.30 afternoon – 3.30 in the morning, getting up around lunchtime the next day to play world of Warcraft again.

I came home on 5th July to an empty house a child abandoned in his cot for
at least 24 hours and the same with my mother. My partner informed me he was
young and should be out clubbing and having a life, not have
responsibilities, a child, and a mother in law who was dying and a house!

That night whilst I was reeling from that my mother died, leaving me alone,
bewildered and in shock.

From 6th July to present day I have had to deal with things alone, I do not
have the luxury of family members for support. The added problem I have
Aspergers syndrome, means I do not communicate well, so I have no friends.
The fact we were in a new area due to the house move meant I had no neighbours to turn to, plus a remote farm meant the nearest neighbour was a long way from me.

Autism A truly moving story   You never know what goes on in peoples lives....

The business has had to fall into the background as my son is my priority.
Childcare is virtually impossible for a autistic self harming child!

So I am sadly on benefits. Obviously depression has taken a hold, at times I
have been suicidal, but Nathaniel needs me.I do not plan for the future, I take one day at a time. Today has come and gone, tomorrow I deal with as it comes. I dare not plan further than that.

My heart is broken, but I do what I can for Nathaniel and try and give him
the best life I can, holidays, gifts, days out, and a mum constantly at his
side with never ending hugs and kisses and endless love. The one stable
thing in his little life is his mum, and I intend to keep it that way”

 

After reading this email, I cried and it makes me emotional every time I read it. People make mistakes, but how can a man leave a baby in a cot alone and a dying woman? This makes me very angry. Ros is an amazing woman to keep on going with her life, being a single mum is hard enough but not having any support is unimaginable.

I do find life a little difficult sometimes but my life isn’t bad at all. I’ve got a healthy & happy son, great friends and the best Mum and Dad ever. This email made me think that you really don’t know what goes on in other people’s lives. It also made me even more determined to make VIPregnancy.com a success – I want to be able to create a community that supports each other and I want to make sure I can help as many people as I can is some way.

Lets all send positive thoughts to Ros, I know her life WILL get better.

I love this inspirational image

Inspirational image A truly moving story   You never know what goes on in peoples lives....

Remember if you’re having a difficult time being a parent – the situation you are in right now is only temporary. Keep on going because after the storm, the sun will always appear.

Thank you for reading my first blog post. How have you overcome difficult situations and challenege? Comment below and share your advice - also tweet me to let me know you’ve commented on this post.

Permission has been granted from Ros to share her original email to me with you.

Hey beautiful. My name is Veena V and welcome to my blog! I’m a single Mum to an over active little boy, work in the city and I’m also a freelance radio presenter. Take a read of why I started VIPregnancy here. Be happy & enjoy your life! Love you!

6 Comments

  • Great read, its true what you say, you never know what goes on in people’s lives.

  • In many ways that is such a sad story but it’s also the story of a very strong woman who is dealing with a lot of things but remains focused on giving her son a good life. Ros says she doesn’t communicate well but she has written her story very eloquently with emotion, compassion and determination. I hope that things get better for Ros and when my life gets me down, as everyone’s life does from time to time, I will pick myself up and count my blessings, of which I have many.

  • Isn’t incredible what some mums have to cope with?
    I read this post a few days ago after you emailed me and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. Having children is tough but so many mums have additional challenges on top of that (illness, learning difficulties, difficult relationships) and so many do it with very little support.

    Thanks for entering the blog carnival.

  • Well that’s made me stop and think! Hats off to Ros for coping and good luck to you too.

  • What a moving post – and it is so true. Mums should always remember this lesson as generally we’re all comparing ourselves to other mums and it’s never favourably – always imagining everyone else has got it together, or is having it easier. It just isn’t true at all. Great post Veena, Alli, http://www.motivatingmum.com

  • Sarah completly agree with everything you say, Ros is a very strong woman and has communicated so well in her story.
    Thank you Helen and yes it amazes me how mums do cope!
    Thanks Alli for including me in the carnival

    Please like our facebook page if you haven’t already :) http://facebook.com/VIPregnancy

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