1) Be confident with the way you look, believe that you feel and look good.

2) Get a blow dry once a month-it does wonders for your confidence!

3) Keep makeup in the downstairs bathroom or somewhere near the front door-so when you have finished sorting the kids out, you can quickly put some makeup on.

4) Tinted moisturiser saves you putting both foundation and moisturiser on separately – saves time!

5) Lipliner all over your lips will stay on all day just dab some gloss over it.

6) Eyelash extension are a God send.

They last roughly 2-4 weeks. You will not need mascara again or even much eyeliner! So all you will need to do is make sure you have good skin or foundation on and a touch of colour on you lips or blusher!

You will wake up feeling great and may just have to wash your face and brush your teeth and you are good to go!

7) Keep some foundation and lipcolour in the car glove box, whenever there is a traffic light you can quickly put some makeup on if you did not have time when you were at home.

Make Up top tips brought to you by: Halimah Abubacker, Single Mum of 2, make up artist and founder of the beauty training academy Tilba Training.

Why every mum-to-be should have a baby shower
By Ally Atkins

We all know the ‘how’ of throwing a baby shower but it’s easy to forget the importance of ‘why’ a new mum should have one.

The term baby shower generates a fairly specific set of images to many people. To some it involves an afternoon filled with over-the-top themed decorations, themed food, themed games and baby-talk; this is the legacy of the stereotypical American baby shower.

Becoming pregnant has to be the most life-changing event of all. While we’re familiar with celebrating the key birthdays, engagements, marriages, retirements and even divorces, pregnancy isn’t usually on the radar. In Britain we have gatherings once the baby arrives so all friends and relatives have the chance to have a peek and pass on messages of congratulations. However, this focus is on the arrival of the baby. What about the mum?

My own insight, and one that suits us rather self-aware Brits, is to curb the over-the-top themed décor – we all know less is more. We prefer to get a gaggle of girlfriends together and indulge in an afternoon of delicious finger foods, champagne, alcohol free cocktails, laughter in abundance and plenty of advice for mummy-to-be. After all, a baby shower is a celebration and should be for the mother as much as the baby. It’s akin to a hen night but with less alcohol; a rallying of the troops, all the girls together with tips and advice about what is in store.

Of course, you can’t forget that baby showers are fun! They all have that in common but, rather than focusing on over-the-top themes and embarrassing games, move the emphasis to showing the mum-to-be she has a support network and give all the tips and advice you can think of. Make a fuss of her, because it’s all going to be about the child from here on in!

So, how do you go about throwing a very British baby shower? Decorations are important but think about the pregnant mother’s tastes – vintage tableware is becoming very popular along with a few baby themed balloons and the odd banner or pieces of bunting adorning the walls. Mix flowers, butterflies, pastel colours and shabby chic in with the baby theme. This breaks it up and creates a well-designed party space to get the girls together. The Ultimate Baby Shower doesn’t just focus on the well-known baby themes, we have purposefully sourced a wide range of elegant girlie themes to mix and match to create a stylish room.

Games don’t need to be the sole focus and they certainly don’t need to be woefully embarrassing – as so many are. Baby trivia is a great ice breaker to encourage guests to mingle and laugh together;
another popular game involves baby scan photos and a list of baby parts to identify, which is much harder than you may imagine. Perhaps the most important is the advice cards. Every new mummy should have a set of advice cards from her close friends and relatives. They are there for her to refer to at any time and some favours to call in would never go amiss….

Think about the food you want to offer; canapés, a buffet or the ever-popular afternoon tea is important and provides a natural break. Champagne and / or alcohol free cocktails create a refined table setting. Position all the favours (thank you gifts) for guests to see and admire before they take them home.

What about the baby gifts? A stereotypical baby shower does tend to have too much emphasis on the gifts, which can be off-putting. Many people prefer to give the gifts after baby has arrived and this tends to suit us more superstitious Brits. If this is preferred then put a note on the invitation that you’re having a ‘mummy shower’ and gifts are not necessary. Saying that, some parents-to-be do need help preparing for a new baby. In this case it may be a good idea to create a gift list, which we offer at The Ultimate Baby Shower. It doesn’t need to involve hugely expensive items but getting the essentials together before baby arrives can be a great start and a tremendous help.

Finally, to the guests – I’ve read a number of articles lately about men being invited to baby showers and the fact that couples baby showers are becoming the in-thing. I have to say I disagree with that and judging by other reactions I’d say the men are not too keen either! It is customary for the new dad to wet the baby’s head after the birth and celebrate with his friends in his own way.

Remember, the baby shower is about celebrating the mum and nobody can do this better than her girlfriends. It’s about creating a support network, which will be there long after the little addition arrives.

The Ultimate Baby Shower is the UK’s premier specialist baby events organiser offering bespoke baby showers with a quintessentially British feel at your home or at one of the exclusive partner venues. The Ultimate Baby Shower team also provides hand-picked essentials, gifts and accessories to suit the individual mum’s needs. See http://www.theultimatebabyshower.co.uk.

How I lost weight – Three tips after giving birth

People always comment how thin I am (my son is now 2 years and 3 months, so I’ve had a lot of time!) I do wonder how I keep losing weight and stay slim. To be honest I think I’m VERY lucky, I have a very fast metabolism and on top of that a very active toddler.

I was a size 6 before I became pregnant, when up to a size 14 (which I was more than happy with!) and now I’m back at a size 6 again. I actually want to put on a little bit of  weight (you probably think I’m mad!) but I will address this in a later blog post!

So, this is what I did after I gave birth

1. Breastfeeding – a lot of my weight loss was due to breastfeeding every 2 hours day and night for around 2 months. My son was 4 weeks early and weighed 5 lbs 12, so he needed that extra milk!
2. Keep Active – I didn’t do any hardcore exercise and still don’t (I do want to take up some kind of sport very soon – not for weight reasons but more for to keeping fit and healthy) So, your probably still thinking ‘come on you silly women, how did you lose weight!’ The best advice I can give and what I did without even knowing is to keep active all the time and don’t make exercising a core. I always go on lots of power walks, play the wii and also the best one is to just dance around the house! Fun for your baby and a great workout for you!
3. Little & Often – I eat about 5 times a day. I never stuff myself with food but I always eat until I’m full. If you’re thinking how can you eat 5 times a day, here’s an example of my typical day

First thing in the morning – Glass of water

Breakfast – Two Weetabix with milk

Snack - Wholemeal toast with butter and a cup of green tea

Lunch - Pasta dish with orange juice

Snack – Sometimes I don’t have this snack – it depends what I’ve eaten for lunch. I try and have fruit but this usually doesn’t happen! A cup of tea and a biscuit is what I seem to have! I would strongly advise you have a healthy snack like a banana, handful of blueberries, nuts etc…

Dinner – Roast chicken, potatoes, sweet potatoes and other vegtables

Keep checking the site as I’ll be giving you more tips and also you’ll be able to watch some videos of simple exercises that you can do at home

If you haven’t had a look at the video on the latest news section please watch it (by clicking here) before you read this post.

Two ex-gang members – Sheldon Thomas and Gavin McKenna explain why they think single parent families are partly to blame for the riots that hit London and other areas of England in August 2011. Now, initially I was angry – how can they blame single parents for children / young adults setting fire to buildings and stealing? If you’ve watched the video Gavin explains that as a child he saw his mum being abused by his Dad. The reason he was so rebellious when he was younger was that he just wanted love from a father figure.

I think Sheldon Thomas should be part of our government, he understands the real issues  that young people are facing today. There are so many young, single parents struggling  and also people in abusive relationships – the next generation, our children, are  witnessing all of this. We need to break the cycle and show young people that help and  support is out there for them. I’m not excusing anyone’s behaviour, but these issues  within families need to be addressed now and not be swept under the carpet.

Education is key. We need to dedicate lessons in primary and secondary school on learning about real life. What issues we will face as we get older and how to deal with them.

I’m a single parent out of choice, but I had to take myself and my son out of a situation where he was seeing me in tears everyday. If I stayed in the situation I was in, who knows, in 10 years time that could be my son going to court for disrespecting his community, because he would be angry with the world and would not know any difference. God forbid, that would and will not ever happen. My son is growing up in a stable, safe and secure environment even though he is predominately being raised just by me.

It breaks my heart when I hear people talk negatively about single parents. I’m very lucky that myself and my son’s father still talk and have a great relationship when we are in front of our child. Now, I’m not going to lie and say its perfect because its far from, but I’m just happy that we get on. Of course I would love us to be a family, but unfortunately that isn’t going to happen.

As a mum, I feel I’ve done the right thing. But sometimes I feel society is punishing me for being a single parent. What have I done that is so wrong?

I strongly believe that it is much more better for a child to have two parents that love them unconditionally, that live in two different houses, rather than two parents living together that only argue. What kind of example is that setting?

So what do you think? Are the riots all to do with dysfunctional families? I would love to know your thoughts.

Starting School – The Easy Way!

From the moment you play peek-a-boo with your baby, you are preparing them for the process of moving away from you and learning about independence. Separation can be a difficult emotion not only for you as a parent but also for your child. As your child matures and gains in confidence, they grow into independent beings and it is important that you prepare them to fly the nest one day.

Even in ordinary situations, some children experience some form of worry, apprehension, fear, anxiety or distress. Feeling nervous and anxious occasionally is completely natural for a child when they are faced with an unfamiliar or new situation. From toddler to teens, life is full of challenges and sometimes a natural reaction is for your child to retreat from the situation and to look to you for more reassurance.

During infancy, a baby clings to you when a stranger approaches; in early childhood children often fear new and unfamiliar situations; and as children grow and develop they worry about social acceptance, school performance or finding a group that they can fit into.

These are all normal reactions to life, but what if your child suddenly starts to get headaches, tummy aches or has nightmares about going to school?School is a place away from home where your child will have some of their greatest successes, challenges, failures and embarrassments. It is at school that your child learns about how the world works and meets and interacts with people from outside your family, perhaps for the first time.

School is a place beyond your control so of course it can appear stressful and unfamiliar to your child regardless of their age.

It is also where children learn about themselves: their strengths, weaknesses, interests and how they relate to others socially. Children learn to perform in a way they never have to at home and they learn that they are unique, different and separate from you. So, school can appear fun and exciting but also rather daunting and stressful. There are new expectations placed on them whether it is starting school for the very first time or starting secondary school.

Starting school can be an exciting new adventure or a terrifying nerve-racking, nail-biting experience. This may depend on a number of factors.

A child who has attended a playgroup, or a mother and toddler group may feel more at ease with the new situation as they are used to and more comfortable with, the daily ritual of separation. I remember my son Will walking up the path to his nursery on the first day and striding in confidently to play with the jigsaws. It was me who had to fight back the tears and the strange feeling of rejection, as he didn’t seem that bothered to see me go!!! (But we had been going to the Mother and Toddler afternoons throughout the summer to get him used to the BIG DAY!!)

It can also depend on your child’s character, their ability to handle change or whether their friends are going to be joining them.

I really believe your attitude is of vital importance to this “Big Day” moment. If you appear nervous, anxious, worried, over-protective or guilty your child notices your tension and will react to it with anxiety, reluctance and hesitancy.

So, prepare yourself for the “Big Day” by being interested, supportive, and encouraging.

Here are some Positive Parenting Pointers

• Talk to your child about what to expect – the activities (if it is nursery or reception – the snacks, milk-time, story time or quiet time, the routines, the toys and the noise of other children) if it is starting Secondary school, the anxiety of finding their way around the maze of a larger building, the new homework expectations, the new friend issues, the new timetable or the new route home on the bus.

• Take your child to the nursery, school, or secondary school to get the feel of the place and to get used to the lay out or the journey. With younger children, the place where they go to the toilet or hang their coat is of great importance to them and can really help them relax during their early days in a new environment.

• Let your younger child know that it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous and worried about being away from you for a little while and get them to think of a familiar object or toy they could bring in with them for a short while until they get used to the changes.

• I remember when I first taught in Reception a Mum taking her daughter’s hand and kissing the back of it and saying “Now you have my kiss so pop it into your pocket and when you miss me you can take it out again and give yourself a kiss from Mummy all over again” I saw her doing that only twice over by the sandpit during the morning!!

• Think of some of your own personal ideas to diminish your child’s anxiety.

• Find a “buddy” or special friend who your child could go in with or pal around with during the new experience. I remember the Mums at my children’s school got together in the Summer holidays in one their gardens to have a BBQ where the kids chatted, played and got used to being with each other. It was in a pleasant, relaxed atmosphere where it was safe and familiar so it was a really positive and fun experience for everyone. It helped the transition into the school environment later that month.

• Make the school ritual relaxed by laying out the school clothes or making the sandwiches the night before and getting your child involved in helping with the process. It helps take away some of the anxiety and is an opportunity for listening and chatting through little or big niggles.

What to Do if Your Child Has Difficulties

Stay for a little while for the first day or two but always talk to your child’s teacher first about this, as some Reception teachers don’t always like this idea. As your child feels more comfortable, make your stay shorter and shorter and then just stay long enough to say goodbye properly.

I found children’s tears dried up within minutes once they got stuck into the Playdoh or toy cars while poor old Mum or Dad went home or to work feeling awful all day when really their child forgot all about feeling blue very quickly.

Be firm about attending school and don’t “give in” to staying at home. That sends the wrong message and really is making a rod for your own back!

Always come back on time so your child can feel secure and safe knowing you are waiting for them with a smile and a lovely greeting. With older children don’t always bombard them with questions like “Well, how was it?” Let them relax and talk about it in their own time and just greet them with a smile and an “It’s good to see you”.

Always reassure and be accepting of your child’s worries and concerns. Always acknowledge your child’s feelings as it shows respect to their genuine emotions and it gives you an opportunity to help them learn to cope with new experiences positively.

Always stay positive and try to relax even if your child reverts to thumb sucking, clinginess, and bedwetting or having nightmares. These behaviours are usually only temporary setbacks and remember that you are creating a blueprint for how your child handles change throughout their lives.

Encourage your older child to ask for help if they get lost, or don’t understand their homework – encourage them to realise everyone is in the same boat and is only too keen to help.

Encourage your child to see Secondary School as a “Human Zoo” and not necessarily as a “Wild Jungle” – a place with lots of interesting animals and where the zookeepers are there to help them – not just to contain them!!!!

I hope you and your child grow, change and laugh together through the exciting but sometimes scary time of starting school and with your patience, understanding and love you find it a rewarding and positive experience for both of you.

Remember Positive Parents = Confident Kids!

Sue Atkins is a Parenting Expert who offers practical guidance for bringing up happy, confident, well behaved children. She is also the author of “Raising Happy Children for Dummies” one in the black and yellow series published worldwide and the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy CDs.

To receive Sue’s free ebooks bursting with practical tips and helpful advice from toddler to teen log onto www.thesueatkins.com and download them today.

Kidz4Mation are putting on sessions for children to help improve their confidence

Coping with Shyness and Coping with Bullying sessions for children

For more information and booking go to http://www.kidz4mation.com/workshops.php

VIPregnancy.com caught up with the Melanie Hall, the show producer of The Baby Show, to find out more about the event and if anyone has ever gone into labour while being there! Also for your chance to win tickets for the show at London’s Excel on Feb 18th 2011, all you have to do is like our fanpage facebook.com/VIPregnancy – more info on the homepage.

Why should someone go to The Baby Show? The Baby Show is packed with everything expectant mums and new mums need to give their baby the best start. The show is perfect for shopping for everything a mum and baby needs, not only do you get to shop but you can try and compare all the products in one day and leave with the right products that match your needs. The show also offers free advice on vital topics such as baby sleeping, baby nutrition and baby first aid. You can also meet midwives to answer questions specific to your own pregnancy and experiences.

Are there facilities and activities for babies and toddlers? We have the Face of the Baby Show which gives our little visitors the chance to win a modelling competition and of course to feature in our Baby Show marketing campaign for a year too. To keep them entertained whilst at the show they can have fun in the Fisher Price Crèche which is packed with all their latest toys and try the delicious recipes Sainsburys Little Ones cook up – they will inspire mum too!

Are there facilities and activities for men!!? Dads and dads-to-be will be in their element checking out and comparing all the essential products plus the latest must-haves and gadgets which are at the show. They can also Meet the Midwives and health visitors are on hand to answer any questions they have specific to them, not just mum’s.

What’s your most memorable show? The first one! I have never seen so many babies in one place and was surprised that you could rarely hear a baby cry!

Has anyone ever gone into labour at the show? Yes! One ladies’ waters broke as she entered the show which she was disappointed about.

Finally, what’s your top tips for parents and parents-to-be on how they can get themselves a bargain at the show? It’s really important to do the research, have a good look through our website before heading the show to plan your day and what you need to buy.

PARANOID!

So according to a new study it may not be best to breastfeed for 6 months. Experts, led by a paediatrician from University College London’s Institute of Child Health, say babies may benefit from being given solid food earlier. They also say “exclusively breastfeeding for six months is a good recommendation for developing countries, which have higher death rates from infection. But in the UK, it could lead to some adverse health outcomes and may “reduce the window for introducing new tastes”.

Now, this new research has made me a little paranoid. Will my son not want to eat particular foods when he gets older? Will he be a fussy eater? Has he not been getting enough nutrients?

I may be a little paranoid, but I look at my gorgeous son and he is a very healthy and happy 20 month old. I introduced solid foods very slowly from 5 and a-half months because he was just too hungry! I felt guilty for not following the rule and advice of ‘wean your baby from 6 months’ – the day I introduced solids he slept through the night for the first time! Now every baby is different, so this doesn’t mean when you start weaning your baby, s/he will sleep through too, unfortunately. But it did make me think, maybe I should have introduced solids even earlier – I may have had lots more rest!

A lot of people who are not mums my say ‘mothers know what feels right and know the best thing to do’, but when everyone is telling you to only breastfeed for 6 months and you are a first-time mum, everything becomes overwhelming and you don’t know what feels right anymore. All you want to do is follow advice from the professionals.

I even felt guilty about introducing formula milk and didn’t tell me midwife until a month or so after. I was too tired from feeding him every 2 hours day & night (my son was 4 weeks early so needed feeding more often for a while) I must have had an hour’s sleep every night for a few months, makes me tired just thinking about it!  My son was breastfeed exclusively for 4 months, I then very slowly introduced formula. I did a mixture of both feeds until he was 6 months.

Still confused by this new study? Please don’t be. Get as much advice as you can from as many different midwives / health visitors / friends and then make your own decision. The way I see it, my son is very healthy and happy and was weaned at 5 and a half months. My parents weaned me when I was 4 months and I’m healthy and happy (most of the time J ) I have friends who didn’t breastfeed and their children are absolutely fine! Every baby is different, just enjoy your new baby and go get some rest!

Mummy blogger Beckicklesie was looking for guests posts, so it was my perfect opportunity for my second blog post!

So Christmas has finished, your credit cards have been exhausted and your little ones are still going to need tons of new things for this New Year! Here are my top 5 money saving tips that can really help you make the most out of your hard earned money.

1) January Sales

I LOVE them and this is the time you can stock up for the year. Buy clothes for the little one for the whole year e.g. buy a winter coat that your child will grow into, shorts for summer etc… you will save a lot of money.

2) Sign up ASAP!

Maybe you’ve just found out you are pregnant – Congratulations!

As soon as you know you’re pregnant, sign up to every single parent club that you can! Some of the best ones are Boots, Pampers, Cow & Gate, Sainsburys…. You’ll receive free gifts and money off coupons. Remember to set up another email address where all the baby company newsletters can go to, otherwise your inbox will get bombarded!

3) Sell clothes

Buy clothes from Next, Disney, Designer stores etc and sell on ebay or gumtree after your baby has grown out of them. Clothes from shops like Primark are great to have but if you want to make a little bit of money from them, people are unlikely to buy.

4) Second hand

There’s nothing wrong with receiving hand-me-downs from friends or relatives. Also buying from charity shops, especially in richer areas – you may pick up a very good bargain and good quality clothes.

5) Be a savvy shopper

Before you go and buy anything on the high street, see if there is a discount voucher first on a site like myvouchercodes.co.uk. Compare prices online on pricerunner.co.uk and moneysupermarket.com

For more money saving tips check out expert advice on the help me page

If you have any advice on how to save please comment on this blog post by clicking on the title