1) Visual aids. Try and get hold of some makatron cards, pictures with a word under them, you can make a whole folder of guides. Such as go to toilet, Then wash hands, then dry hands, then finish, things such as QUIET, HOME, choose Drink. Each word has a picture above it. From that you can build up a whole schedule, so your child knows exactly what is to be expected and the order it is to be in. You can get ready made visual routines from ebay for £1.99 so he can take off each item as he achieves it and move it to the finished section.
2) Keep it simple. Autistic children live for the now, not what will happen in several steps time. FIRST we do X, THEN we do Y. they do not like noise, so in fact all their senses are far more heightened than us, so keep things calm, quiet and simple. Shouting a load of stuff at them just sounds like noise to them and they turn off.
3) Choice – they like to be able to choose things. If a child has a problem getting dressed, give them two choices of what to wear, no more or it gets confusing, let them take control, start of by putting a sock on but let them finish the job by pulling it up then doing the second sock on their own, same with food, or drink for example choose orange OR blackcurrant juice. Always encourage them to try a new food at each meal.
4) The senses are very much more attuned to us. We go into a shop, they go into a loud, smelly place heaving with colours, bright lights and trolleys, groaning freezers and shelves with items not evenly stacked and out of line. It is no wonder to cut this overload out they flap, scream, curl up on the floor, head butt and throw tantrums. Try and see the world through their heightened senses. Ear defenders are a must to cut out the noise, a “find it ” chart, to make a game of getting the shopping an essential with a reward at the end of each find.
5) The unknown is terrifying. Plan things ahead along with the child, involve him as much as possible so he is aware of everything that is happening and why. Take pictures of strange routes and new buildings or places to show and to build up a visual map of what is going to happen. This is especially useful for visits to doctors, dentists and opticians
6) SLOW DOWN! Time to learn to take things at your child’s pace and in his world. You go into a room to see a friend; your child sees the drawing pin on the wall, the light bulb that has blown, and the cobweb in the corner of the room. He smells the stale food cooked yesterday, the last thing he sees is your friend. The same if you go to the circus, do not expect him to be watching the clowns; he is more likely to be counting the red and white stripes on the big top!
7) Keep it on track. Think of life as a railway and a carriage, as long as everything runs on the track and keeps to the timetable its great, fall off the track and like a pack of cards it all falls apart. Whatever you do around an autistic child, think of that track and how he may see a de-railment.
Make him his own special space, a quiet space where he can go to be alone, calm and quiet. a sensory room is ideal, it doesn’t have to be expensive , Glitter lamps bubble machine, a cd player with sound of relaxing music does the trick
9) Above all do not get bogged down by the fact your son is autistic. S/he is a very special highly intelligent child, far above a normal child in many ways. Be proud of him, let him loose and trust him, ask him what he thinks, feels, wants, what he is scared of and why. Talk to him as an adult, you will be surprised how intelligent they are. You will have the best time of your life seeing things you never thought of and learning as you go. NEVER BE ASHAMED!
10) THE AUTISM BADGE!
No matter what the situation and where it is. Ignore the outside world and deal with it calmly and quietly. YES IF IT IS AN ATOM BOMB RANK 10 tantrum in the middle of Tesco over the fact the pen lid has been lost somewhere in the store! The shopping can wait. Sit down on the floor, have a hug, quiet time there and then and allow time for things to calm. WHY? Because the first thing that shuts off in an autistic child is the ability to communicate, for at least 20 minutes, often half an hour. Anything that upsets the way things should be is a major catastrophe inn their little lives, and right then and there no words will make ANY sense, shouting less so!.
So sit down, use your CALM sign, the world can go around you. LOVE YOUR SON and let him feel that all is ok and together work out the cause of the problem and an answer. Above all do not be ashamed, let them bar code you. Show them your autism badge (available from the autistic society) and educate them as to what is happening, be proud, be a teacher and as always LOVE that beautiful child your holding and he will feel that and take comfort from it.
11) Last tip and my golden rule - Timers & Calmers
You absolutely NEED THESE.
Timers are usually associated with punishment, time out etc, with autistic children they are an ideal visual aid to help them get through things. They are used as a REWARD and a clear indication of how long something will take. They know how long it will be before bedtime, before the activity ends and a new one begins, to do a set job such as brush teeth, and how long to wait for example if you are in conversation with someone, then they can have a timer to see how long to wait before they can join in or ask a question, the list is endless!
A special set of 1min, 3 min and 5 minute timers made for autistic children is available online, they are not cheap at about £10 each but they are worth the price, each one coloured so it is clear which is which. For special times I live by the TIME TRACKER, its has very clear traffic light and sound Green “starts or BEGIN” amber, “ticking”, and Red “Finished” and can be preset to any length of time and the sounds can be changed, for different scenarios or it can be silent. I use this tog guide how long an activity or game should last as autistic children can and will play their same favourite game repetitively ALL DAY next day and so on until you stop them, this will stop them without any distress and allow you to move your child onto a new activity to experience other things that would not be attempted without a clear sign when to stop the one they a re playing. Who would have thought playing a simple game could be so stressful?
Calmers again are absolutely essential for an autistic child to help them deal with stress. Think of it as their own little sensory room in their hand.
It can be a squeezy ball, a rubber doll that can be pulled and stretched to any length or proportion. These are great if going around shops, to strange places, something new, or in any situation where a child could feel pressurized or stressed. These are inexpensive at around .50p – £2
A very special calmer I find useful is the small dripping globule oil toys, where a colour of oil drips through a hole in the centre of the toy creating a steady dripping pattern. There are many variations of these where they turn wheels, go in little balls down a ramp and then can be turned over to start again.
The effect of these is a steady stream of beads or droplets, calming structured and set in a strict repetitive pattern. Ideal in the worst of situations, these can be a bit more expensive at £7.50 +
By Ros, full time mum to Nathaniel aged 2
